What's Really Wrong with Abstinence Education

I don't care for the public school system as it exists today. For all the people that have graduated from high school, a good many don't seem to be very educated or lack common sense altogether. I blame the schools for this in many cases. Whether we're talking about illiteracy, an inadequate special education department, or lack of discipline, things don't seem to be improving. The thing that really bothers me, however, is how we handle sex education.

Remember the D.A.R.E. program? I recall in 6th grade that we had a police officer that would teach us about the dangers of illegal drug use and how they'd try to hook us. At the end of the last class, we had to deliver a speech (side note: I had a panic attack from nerves). Each of us then took an oath to not use drugs or be involved in gang activity. How many people do you know that actually kept that oath?

Let's consider the reasons for a moment. What did most of our speeches say as to why we'd choose to avoid drugs? Health risks and jail time, both of which center around self-interest. Once young adults are old enough to be offered drugs, they believe in their own invulnerability to addiction, bodily damage, and/or the law.

This same rule applies to abstinence programs. Teens can pledge to wait for sex all they want, but if their abstinence is to avoid a pregnancy or STDs then they can justify having sex by making sure to "be careful" with condoms and birth control. We can see how well that ends up working by the number of unplanned pregnancies among our fellow alumni, most of whom are unmarried.

What if we were to teach abstinence by placing importance not on ourselves, but rather our friends and loved ones? You want to know why I'm still a virgin? Because it would bring undeserved criticism on my parents. It would dishonor everything that they've taught me. Because it would put my family in a position where they would be obligated to help me. Whether by helping financially or providing living space or taking time out of their lives to pick up my slack because of a lack of personal responsibility. Because it doesn't honor God or His teachings. Because I wouldn't be emotionally prepared or mature enough to be the best father possible for my child. Because it would force my significant other to abandon her plans and aspirations. Because it might mean that my girlfriend would choose to get an abortion and I would have that death on my conscience.

We've become such a selfish culture that can't exercise restraint. We don't know how to think about the consequences of our actions. We want what we want and no one is going to convince us otherwise. Let's work on teaching students to have humility and selflessness before we bother expecting them to wait for marriage.

-L. Travis Hoffman

7/13/2015