Being a Loving Christian With a Spine

I sometimes wonder how often I disappoint Christ. Especially when it comes to speaking up and defending the Faith. It's very hard to feel valued and accepted when one holds beliefs that are very much up against the mainstream. Those moments where I manage to work up the nerve to express my views are like walking on eggshells. I feel very nervous, very tense. I don't want to upset anybody. I don't want anyone to have the impression that I'm in any way better or walk away thinking that I believe them to be worthless. Most of all, I just don't want people to hate or reject me.

It occurred to me earlier today as I commented on a friend's facebook post speaking on same-sex marriage. It was making reference to various celebrities who have married umpteen times and/or have cheated on their spouse. The point of the statement being that any claim that gay marriage will corrupt its sanctity is hypocritical when taking into account all the indiscretions of celebrities.  I commented that this was not an honest argument. The majority of those who support traditional marriage would regard these infidelities just as a much a sin as a union between homosexuals. Keep in mind that my comments did not say anything of my own opinion on the issue. I think, if anything, I'd be looked at as someone merely refining an argument, not giving a rebuttal.   Anyway, this started to get very heated and the particular individual I was conversing with told me that I was a bigot and did not deserve his respect. He'd assumed that I had been vehemently opposed to gay marriage, though I still had said nothing at that point.When I finally bothered to give my opinion, which is that gay marriage should be determined through the democratic process, he apologized. I made a point of saying that I had reservations against it, but none that would hold merit from a legal standpoint. We parted company on more-or-less friendly terms, though still disagreeing greatly.

The whole thing has been on my mind all day. Should I have put more emphasis in my convictions against homosexuality? Did I buckle under pressure? The more I ponder it, the more I believe the answer is yes to both questions.

The guy told me I didn't deserve respect. He called me a bigot. The words had cut deep. In that moment I could feel the hate radiating from that guy. Hate that I can honestly say I have never felt toward a homosexual in my life (And I've never harbored hateful feelings for them, anyway). I wish that this revelation had clicked with me at the time. Perhaps I would've been more bold. Perhaps not. I could also have said something really stupid and made things worse. That seems very likely.

Even as a kid, I just wanted to be nice to people and have them be nice back. That's how my folks raised me. Don't be rude or short with people. Don't tease or swear at them or call them names. Just don't be mean. That was the philosophy and I still hold to that today. As a Christian I feel its even more applicable. Jesus loved sinners, right? So should the Church, because we really aren't any better. I try to do that very thing each day. But could I be responding with too much compassion and not enough conviction? Sure, Jesus had unconditional love, but he also said to sin no more. The latter is just as important as the former. Am I being wishy-washy in my approach and being a lukewarm Christian? I really don't want to be that. I want to be like Jesus. I want to be immeasurable in love and generosity while being firm and courageous to stand against the opposition. Alone, if necessary. I want His approval and blessings in life.

I might just be getting too critical of myself. For all I know, I could've very well done the right thing in how I reacted in that situation. That guy might've been left with a positive experience around a Christian when he might otherwise have had poor ones in his past. I'll keep praying about it and continue on with the intention of being stronger in the future.

-L. Travis Hoffman

12/19/2014