The Question of Lust part II

This blog entry is a direct continuation of its "part I" counterpart. The letter in subject by Dr. Dobson can be read here: http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/letter-dr-james-dobson-focus-family/  Also, this is where it's probably going to get at its most awkward. To call this topic taboo would be something of an understatement, so you've been warned.

Dr. James Dobson's letter of reply to someone inquiring about the morality of masturbation has also led to some similar divides in opinion. "My advice is to say nothing [to your children] after puberty has occurred. You will only cause embarrassment and discomfort," he stated. He then related a time in his youth where his father, a conservative minister, discussed the subject and told him, "I don't believe it has much to do with your relationship with God."

To Dr. Dobson's credit, he seems to offer a lot more insight into his views as opposed to Pope Francis. He cites his reasons for choosing not to condemn it outright, while also making a point to address the implications and causes for engaging in the practice. While I do believe that he makes a strong case for his position, my convictions lead me to disagree with his conclusions. I don't read it with the sense that he's fully addressed and answered the question of lust.

My first criticism lies with Dr. Dobson's statement regarding its frequency among boys. I'm uncertain as to whether he is actually citing statistics or giving a ballpark figure (he's most likely right, in either case), but I don't think the fact that masturbation as a commonality necessarily excuses it from being sinful. Sin, in and of itself, is a commonality. It's universal. Not only that, but sin is a personal thing. That masturbation is typical among humanity is only evidence that lust happens to be the sin most popular over the others. It's prevalence can be largely related to our ever-changing sexual mores and the lessening of modesty within fashion and the arts. In turn, it has an effect on the latter and the circle continues to perpetuate itself.

The letter next goes into the accumulating guilt that comes with repeatedly trying and failing to kick the habit. Men will grow to feel spiritually worthless, broken, and without hope. Dr. Dobson believes that this leads many to abandon their faith as a result. I'm sure that he's correct on this, but, again, does this exempt it from being regarded as sinful? Would we apply this same logic to someone suffering with alcoholism? Of course not.

As I mentioned before, repentance requires sacrifice. If we're not willing to give something up, it does hinder our relationship with God. Our walk with Christ does not come without struggle or stumbling, but our salvation does not hinge on these things. It's what distinguishes Christianity from every other religion. Good works and abstinence from sin is a product of salvation, not the other way around. We have to keep that in mind. You fail, I fail, and the person two houses down fails, too. I lust, I dishonor my parents, I lie, I steal, I speak and act on my own desires. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even three months from now, but I'll fall to my own temptations at some moment in time.

Which brings me to my next point. Dr. Dobson says, "Regardless of what you do, you will not stop the practice of masturbation in your teenagers. That is a certainty." I find myself again and again agreeing with his statements, albeit not in the same way. You can't stop your teenagers. You can't stop yourself. You're not meant to and God doesn't need or want you to. We let Christ work in us. We submit ourselves. He's the only one capable of healing us. We still may stumble, but we ask forgiveness and let Him into us once more. We can't let failure keep us from growing closer to God.

These were the primary things of Dr. Dobson's letter that stirred my convictions. Could he be right? Maybe. Certainly there's a part of myself and many of us that would like to believe so, but we have to reflect on the why of that acceptance. If we're honest with ourselves, it's probably so that we can indulge ourselves with a clear conscience. I'll admit that I've been guilty of this very thing. I might very well fall victim to this mindset again in the future. I sincerely hope not, but it's not impossible. But we need to consider what our spouses or significant others would think when we choose to mentally undress other people. For me, that is the deal-breaker. I can't bear the thought of being betrayed by my own future wife and it makes me sick to my stomach to think of doing it to her. We need to apply this same perspective in our relationship with God. Easier said than done, to be sure, but an imperative nonetheless.

The Church must be ready and able to address the question of lust. We can't compromise and we can't keep sweeping the subject under the rug. We should ask questions and we should meditate on the Word. We should be thorough in our studies of history, linguistics, and culture so that we can develop an informed opinion on the subject. We need to be open with our own sins of lust and be loving and helpful to one another, recognizing their value to Christ and the talents and gifts they have. Lastly, we need to learn to give our struggles to God.

Pray, submit, and love your fellow sinners.