Good, Bad, or Just Ugly?

Logan isn't very charitable.

Logan says some pretty horrible things and mistreats people. 

Logan is a liar.

Logan just cares about himself.

Logan is a hypocrite.

Logan is arrogant.


If one were to describe me strictly with these six statements to a stranger, the stranger would likely conclude that I'm a pretty awful person. They may well even believe me to be an evil person. But they're also making a judgement based on only a few scraps of details. All of this is true. I'm not as charitable as my betters. I've said some truly hurtful things to people and I've even mistreated them. I've lied. I've been selfish. I've been a hypocrite. And I most definitely have an ego problem.

I'm grateful to the Lord that I don't have to work my way into heaven because there's absolutely no way that my good deeds would outweigh my bad ones. But yet we inevitably find ourselves comparing our goodness to other people on a curve.

Sure, I've stolen some CDs. At least I've never robbed a bank.

Yeah, I've cheated on my tests. But that's nothing compared to those guys who sell the answers!

I've said some harsh words to my wife, but it's not like I'm beating her.


There's always someone worse than ourselves that we can use to claim moral superiority over. Quite often we don't bother to consider that there's always someone better than us, too.

Obviously, to some extent we have to have gradation in order to properly punish or reward people. It's unavoidable. And Christians should be willing and able to judge one another accordingly for the purposes of spiritual growth.  Yet we Christians also need to recognize that not all fruit from the spirit presents itself in the same way, time, or place.

Take David, for example. Here is a man who abused his power as king for selfish reasons. He had an affair with a soldier's wife and when he couldn't cover it up, he sent the husband into the front lines to be killed. Were we to apply this scenario to a modern day politician, most people (including Christians) would conclude that this guy is a certified d-bag.

David is regarded as one of the most righteous figures in the Bible even though he did something truly awful. But David had remorse and he asked for forgiveness and he suffered from his sins when he lost the child he sired. After his mourning, he went on with a stronger love, virtue, and dedication to God.

I think of all the leaders just in American history alone that have contributed great things, moral things and yet also have done appalling and immoral things.

Examples:

Thomas Jefferson
Good things: Declaration of Independence, advocate for religious freedoms
Bad things: Owned slaves, had numerous children with a slave (quite possibly through rape)

Franklin D. Roosevelt
Good things: New Deal, joining conflict against Axis powers
Bad things: Japanese internment camps

John F. Kennedy
Good things: Peace Corps., support of Civil Rights Movement
Bad things: Possibly mob ties, concealed frequent judgment-impairing drug use for injury, serial womanizer


There's plenty more, but I think you get the point. How do you weigh the independence of a country against the dehumanization and degradation of people with darker skin? How do you compare the wrongful imprisonment of Japanese people with the opposition to a genocidal regime?

The answer is that you can't. We let history weigh in on who the heroes are and it's often that they are the winners. But we can't keep doing that. The men and women that do good things and acknowledge and show remorse for the bad things that they've done, they should be the ones that are called heroes. Humility is a virtue that is short in supply these days and even shorter when it comes to leaders.

Sometimes I drive myself bonkers just thinking about crappy things that I've done or the fact that I haven't done enough to benefit others or even glorify God. I'm needing to stop and consider that maybe my spiritual fruit is not presenting itself at the time, place, or way that I'm expecting of myself. I'm not suggesting complacency, only quieting of the mind. Which is quite possibly the most demanding task the Lord can ask of me.

The first thing, the easiest thing (relatively speaking), is to address any offenses made against others. You don't know how humbling an apology can be until it's difficult or uncomfortable. But I'd also say that those are the most liberating and the most rewarding (especially when forgiveness is granted).

This whole entry has kind of gone all over the map. I don't have an answer.  Not one that isn't paradoxical, anyway. Ugh. My head hurts.

-L. Travis Hoffman

8/9/2017