The "War on Christmas" is being waged for all the wrong reasons.

If a certain meme is accurate and to be believed, "from November 1st to January 15th there are approximately 29 holidays observed by 7 of the world's major religions."

I have two problems with this meme:

1) This is December. Therefore, the holidays in November and January are irrelevant.

2) Only three of these holidays (Hanukkah, Advent, and Christmas) and two of these religions (Judaism and Christianity) actually matter.

Now the knee-jerk reaction from some who read this will be indignation. How dare I claim exclusivity to the truth claims of Judeo-Christian thought! How dare I suggest that anyone outside of these religions be treated rudely and dismissively! The latter assumption is false. Anyone who approaches me and wishes me a pleasant holiday I will express my gratitude in kind, just as I would hope that they would do the same for me. I can appreciate a person's best wishes to me, even if they are predicated on false beliefs, because that person's sentiment comes from a spirit of generosity. That's basic civility that we should all have. The first assumption, however, is on the nose and that's what this blog entry is about.

If you're groaning about businesses insisting on saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas", I would suggest examining your reasons why. Why does Christmas hold priority over all other holidays? Is it because it's the celebration of the birth of Christ, mankind's savior and part of the Trinity that is the one true God? Or is it because you prefer pine trees over menorahs? If it's the first reason, then you have every right to be upset that other holidays are being treated with equal reverence as Christmas. If it's the second reason, I think you're kind of an idiot. Sadly, I'm fairly certain that the majority of these champions of yuletide celebration fall into that camp.

Christmas devoid of its religious implications means absolutely nothing. Snow, trees, presents, and Santa Claus could be given to a whole other holiday and nothing would change. It's common knowledge at this point that Rome instituted Christmas around the time of Saturnalia and the winter solstice, gradually edging those out and appropriating certain elements. In other words, those pagan traditions still exist because they were attached to a greater and more meaningful tradition that's endured millennia.

Insisting on "Merry Christmas" when one does not adhere to or observe what makes it a holy day is an unnecessary exercise. At best, that's cultural Christianity. It's empty and just as worthless as ethnic /cultural Jewish identity. Both are meaningless when deprived of what gives them their meaning: communing with God. It makes little sense for a non-observant Jew to celebrate a day marking deliverance from religious persecution if they, themselves, don't put any stock in Judaism. But that's what Hanukkah is. Anything else is a cheapening of that holiday and an insult to Jews. The same can be applied to celebrating Christmas.

I honestly don't care if people say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas". Most of the time I just say, "Have a good holiday." People aren't stupid. They know which holiday I'm talking about because they know me by what I believe and how I try to live. That's what's more important because that's what makes it a holy day and not a garden variety gift-giving day.

-L. Travis Hoffman

12/18/2017

Close Call: April 2005

This is a post I've been mulling over for some time now. I had thought about waiting until the anniversary of the incident but it came to my attention that this is Suicide Prevention Month and this particular entry seems apropos to that cause. This will hopefully be a coherent entry, as I will definitely go off into tangents and anecdotes that relate to this overall experience.

A few small things before I jump into this. How I intend on telling my story may be construed by some as flippant. Maybe it is in some ways. I don't want to give any impression that I don't take suicide seriously. I very much do. And by no means would I ever treat the experiences of others in a trivial way. Humor is how I often cope and laughter is great medicine, especially when one applies it to their own wounds. My self-deprecation exists for the purpose of being honest about what I was at that time: a kid who was hurting and made a foolish decision. The second thing I want to bring up is more of a request. I'd appreciate if you know my immediate family members that you would not share this entry with them. They've gone through this ordeal and handled it in their own ways. I'd rather that my own method was not on their radar so that they may not be inclined to read this. Now on to the story.

I had been diagnosed with depression years before, but I guess this all really starts with a girl named Anna. She was a tall blonde with hazel eyes. Attractive, but I wouldn't say conventionally so. It took a while for me to warm up to her. We met in theatre during the fall of '04. During that time we became friends and in the following months that escalated into a very public display of flirtation. We got on quite well and I don't think it would be hyperbole to say that everyone among the cast and crew were pulling for us to get together.

About two weeks after our play was finished, I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out. There was some disappointment on my end when she said that while she was up for dating, a relationship wasn't in the cards. She was going to college soon. I took what I could get and hoped for the best. We went on one group date and I hung out at her house once over Christmas break. Then out of the blue I get a phone call from her. She decides she wants to try a relationship. I could not begin to tell you the elation that I experienced in that moment. No words.

So we were now together. We hung out once more over the break. There was frequent exchanges during school. But then I come home from school one day to find an e-mail from her. She asks if it's okay if we're just friends. I read that and I immediately grabbed the phone and called her. I'm going to venture a guess and say that it was one of the longest phone conversations she's ever had to endure. What started as my attempt at salvaging a young relationship turned into me falling apart very quickly. I was a weeping mess.

From that day on, I was miserable. Any time that I'd see her in the hallway or in theatre was agonizing. It was like twisting a knife in me. You have to understand where I was mentally and emotionally at that age. I'm very well aware of what I look like. I wasn't attractive in my adolescence either. Up to that point I had never met anyone that had reciprocated feelings toward me. This was like finding a unicorn. It wasn't likely to happen, but if it did it was even less likely to happen again. Everything hinged on that for me. So when that relationship died, any chance of being loved back had died with it.

The next few months involved me trying to convince her to change her mind. Our interactions got more and more volatile and I grew bitter. I became a pretty vindictive little prick. This all culminated when we happened to be taking the same route home while she was going to see a friend. We were talking during the walk and things started to get turbulent... and then she saw her friend, ended the conversation, and left me. That pissed me off to no end because I wanted to rage at her so bad. I wanted to go at it with her and really tell her what I was feeling. But she wasn't willing to play that game. That brush-off, that disregard was the last straw. As I walked home I was thinking, "I'm done trying. This is misery and I don't want to live."

I got home and went to my room. I started working on a goodbye letter. I spent the remainder of the day being pleasant enough. I waited that night for everyone to finally go to bed. I remember my brother being up quite late. Between a bathroom trip, I told him that I loved him. I never say that unless it's in a goofy kind of way. I sometimes wonder if he remembers that moment and whether or not he reflects on it as a red flag. I've never had the heart to ask him.

Eventually, everyone went to bed. Since I didn't want a painful death, I decided an overdose was the way to go. I took somewhere between 15-20 pills of ibuprofen. These were the length of my thumbnail and had the circumference of my pinky. Then I drank some rubbing alcohol and some peroxide diluted with water. The deed was done and my letter was finished, so I laid down and for the first time in months I slept peacefully.

What came next was a haze and I don't remember much. My mom found me and she thought I might have overslept. I told her what I did. She grabbed me by the wrist, yanked me up, and asked me what I took. The ambulance and police showed up. As I was being led out of the house, I threw up mere inches in front of a cop's feet in our living room (sorry, Officer, wherever you are). I kept going in and out of consciousness. They made me drink charcoal, which was a blast to say the least.

I fully woke at another hospital. It was explained to me that I would be spending time in a psych ward. I was allowed a brief moment to say goodbye to my parents. As I went to hug my dad, I told him that I was sorry. He just rubbed my head and gently said, "It's okay." He said it as if I made any other stupid mistake. The compassion in that little gesture has always stuck with me. I'm crying as I type this out. I saw that my mom was a wreck. She was crying and in that moment I recognized that all the pain I had been through had been nothing compared to what I felt then and there. I had done this to my mom. This was on me and I would never put her through that ever again.

I spent four days at this facility. It consisted mostly of group therapy with the occasional one-on-one with a psychiatrist. The doctor treating me was named Raphael Gonzalez and he had this awesome accent. He was mild-mannered and he seemed both amused and pleasantly perplexed by me. He was particularly tickled with my vocabulary. My parents later relayed to me that he had said, "He's not an ordinary boy." Whether there was sincerity behind that comment or merely him exercising his bedside manner, I don't know. In any case, he was an affable fellow and I enjoyed what little time I had spent with him.

My return home was surprisingly uncomplicated and devoid of any stress. All but one of my teachers turned a blind eye to my absences and, by extension, mandatory final exams. The one teacher never really liked me, but whatever. There still remained, however, the Anna situation. I shared a class with her and we both were in theatre.

During this time, I was fortunate enough to have two friends that made the rest of the school year bearable. The first friend was Jon. We had earth science and mass media together. He was hilarious and we shared a lot of the same interests. He got me into Bruce Lee's films. He even helped me out on my first short film by playing the lead. The second friend was Kayla. Oh, where to begin with her. She was adorable, sweet, contagiously likable, and she had a singing voice that could make me cry. Seriously. Hearing her sing was like falling in love. If I'm excessive in my praise, it's because I thought the world of her. She and I bonded over a mutual dislike for Anna at that time. Those friends could not have come into my life at a better time. They were a godsend.

I still had a rough time of it. I still cried in my room and I had days where I wanted to crawl under a rock. I was participating in a musical at that time, so I had to play happy Woodstock the Bird with Anna a few feet in front of me as student director. As those involved in the show can attest, I'd be one person on the stage and then immediately switch over to being another person when I'd go backstage. I was the best part of that production (not huge praise, the show was garbage) and it's probably the best acting I've ever done because of all the improv I was allowed to do. Yet I couldn't fully appreciate it because of what I was going through.

The remainder of the year was less stressful and went without incident. I continued with my regular therapeutic treatment and things improved considerably. While I was treated in a psych ward one other time, I've never made another suicide attempt since 2005. I have problems with depression on and off. Sometimes I've even had fleeting suicidal thoughts. I've had depression for 20 years now. Maybe more. I doubt that it's something that I'll ever be completely rid of. However, I haven't suffered from my depression for a while now. There's a number of reasons for this. My faith, better treatments, support from my family, etc.

Suicide and the mental illnesses that influence people to commit it aren't always addressed in the most productive manner. I've been blessed to be surrounded by people that are sympathetic to those that are enduring mental illness. Unfortunately, not everyone is so charitable. A lot of this can be chalked up to ignorance. Other times it's just a lack of empathy.

One particular thing that I commonly hear from people is that suicide is a selfish act. Sadly, this even extends to some within the Church, along with certain doctrines (read: unbiblical doctrines) that suicide is a one-way ticket to hell. There could not be a more counter-productive thing to say to someone in that situation. People who are suicidal are in pain and they're looking for a way to stop that pain. That's not selfish and to say so is to trivialize their suffering. You wouldn't tell a person with a broken arm that they're selfish for wanting their pain to stop.

Now I need to make my point clear: suicide is wrong and it's a bad thing. But the people who make that choice or attempt to do so are not doing it with a clear mind. Their judgment is impaired, frequently through no fault of their own. They're making the wrong choice but they're doing it because they can't see that any other answer might work.

Secondly, a person shouldn't live merely to satisfy another person's desire. A person should live because they know that their life in itself, independent from others, is worth living. Now I realize that I sound like a hypocrite in saying this, based on my own experience. I threw the suicide option out after seeing what it put my mother through. But I understood through that ordeal that there was some value to my continued existence that I just wasn't seeing. Therefore it became a necessity to endure in order to find out why I should value my life. I may not have wanted to live at that time, but I also didn't want to die. I wasn't consciously aware of it, but it was something to keep me going. It's entirely possible that what I'm saying is what people mean. If this is the case, then that message is not being effectively conveyed in the statement, "Suicide is a selfish act." My suggestion is that we discard it and find a better way of articulating that sentiment.

My intent with this entry is two-fold. The first is to provide hope, however small, to individuals that may be struggling with suicidal thoughts. The second is that in relating my experience, my goal is to educate those who don't suffer from mental illness and cultivate an empathetic attitude towards those who do. I don't think about April 2005 as much as I used to. Almost 13 years later and I still find myself trying to make sense of it all. But I continue to learn from my mistake. While it was awful to go through and to put others through, it's provided me with some valuable insight and a sense of gratitude and optimism.

-L. Travis Hoffman

9/15/2017

Postscript

Given that I've referred to Anna by name in this entry, I think it's only fair that I give her what's due. I don't want to leave any lasting negative impressions of her. She's a lovely person and while we haven't spoken in some time, the hatchet has long since been buried. Mistakes were made. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da. 

Tribalism and Ecumenism

For having such an ever-increasing presence within our culture, tribalism is a word that isn't getting much use when it comes to describing current tensions in the world. Yet it couldn't be more accurate a description. Every day that I turn on the news I discover something that leads me to believe that we've all lost our minds.

Tribalism among ethnic groups has become the issue that's dominating the media. Now I must admit that I've always been rather puzzled by this, generally speaking. There could be any number of reasons why this is the case, not least of which is that I'm a white dude (with some possible Jewish background, although that's conjecture as of this posting). Several of my cousins are of multi-ethnic origins as was one of my closest friends from childhood. That shared bond between us came from familial love or just sharing mutual interests. Color didn't really ever enter into the equation.

Now ideological tribalism, that I can understand on some level. We're dealing in values and world views. We're talking about motivations and methodology. Unlike the genes we're born with, we have control and can change and evolve with ideology. We can debate the merits. But I still find myself very leery of ever joining a team, especially if it calls for unconditional support. It's why I've never joined a political party or identified with any particular philosophy. I can't bring myself to be tribal where my world views are concerned.

Except for Christianity.

That's not to say the Church doesn't have its own turf wars, so to speak. Even within Christendom we've had tribalism. Which is really what this entry is about. With the increase of divisiveness among our peers, what does this mean for Christianity? Are the denominations going to be driven further apart or brought closer together?

My answer is that we should be cautiously optimistic. I think we've made huge ecumenical strides with Roman Catholic-Protestant relations. Most notably with the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification in 1999. In the past year, I've heard of at least two books that came out dealing with the topic of ecumenism in positive ways. Even I have become a little less chilly in my attitude toward Roman Catholicism. There's still some push-back and understandably so. I've mentioned in previous posts that I have certain reservations in relation to doctrine, but they aren't really anything that I would classify as deal-breakers.

I should also mention the explosion in demographics at my church. Our congregation keeps growing in its diversity. People of all sorts of different backgrounds. It looks like a Benetton ad. And not just ethnic, cultural, or socioeconomic diversity either. We're getting people from all sorts of denominations attending. There's some occasional head-butting when discussing doctrine. In a non-denominational church, that's to be expected. I would say that more often than not, it's productive discussion. We're not perfect, to be sure. But I look at all this progress and I imagine that it's a little glimpse of what the Church will look like one day.

I don't think it will be without its labor pains, however. Eventually, the Protestants will have to cease protesting. Which means that those of us who aren't Roman Catholics will more than likely have to give ground on some things. For that matter, Roman Catholics will have to make concessions for the Protestants. What that will be, I have no idea. With the misunderstanding of salvation and justification more or less resolved, the two biggies are papal authority and certain doctrines concerning Mary. Then we also have the myriad disagreements between the various Protestant denominations that need to be ironed out. We look to have our work cut out for us, but I don't believe it's insurmountable.

I once said that denominations are a good thing and that homogeneity would dilute the Church. Historically speaking, I still think that it's true. We need to be critical in our understanding of doctrine and ensure that it's ultimately consistent with the Bible. That has inevitably led to the formation of denominations.  However, I don't think we need be divided forever.

And with that, I will leave you with this funny image in my head of Jesus coming down from the heavens and instructing the churches to form into Voltron.


"Lutherans and Anglicans, form feet and legs! Catholics and Orthodox, form arms and body! And I'll form the head!"

-L. Travis Hoffman

8/24/2017

The Vegetable Analogy

Going to church is like eating vegetables.

That simile right there is the perfect stance to hold when considering whether to go to church or sleep in.

This came to me after reading an article from The Federalist that attributed millennials' lack of interest in religion to Vacation Bible School. While I'm not totally onboard with the author's critique of VBS, his article makes a valid point about our culture's attitude toward church. It's an attitude that says that people in church must be entertained and enthralled at all costs. This can lead to vacuous and/or cornball attempts at teaching biblical truths to children. If you've ever gone to Sunday school or VBS, you'll likely remember a few things that even as a child you were rolling your eyes at. But this problem also extends to adults. It could be the person speaking or the subject matter they discuss. It could be the music played. It could be any number of things, but it mostly comes down to us not wanting to be bored.

If there's one thing that we millennials hate, it's being bored. Technology has largely alleviated that problem and when we do find ourselves deprived, it's absolute torture. We've come to associate boredom with wasted time, so any activity that is under-stimulating is immediately assumed as being unnecessary and not worth re-visiting. But boredom is important, especially for the mind. It fosters creativity and introspection. Virtually every post on this blog is the result of me not having anything interesting to do and just letting my mind wander.

Church is boring. A lot. Not all the time, mind you, but it can be very boring and that's a good thing. It makes it easier for you to quiet your mind and consider the words of the sermon. If you are able to do these things then you are more likely to apply the lessons and benefit from them.

Now about those vegetables. Vegetables are good for you but they generally don't taste all that great. Sometimes they're downright disgusting. But if you don't eat them, you won't grow and your health will diminish. In that same way, church isn't always pleasant. However, if you don't push past that then you can't grow spiritually.

Some of the greatest parenting to ever come from my mom and dad was when they would force me to go to church when I didn't want to. It sent a message that said, "Not everything that's good and worthwhile is fun." It's true and it's something I think about whenever the church vs. sleep issue comes up.

I'm not suggesting that churches should avoid tapping into pop culture altogether. Christianity is always relevant and sometimes it's helpful to do just that in order to illustrate a point. But it shouldn't be at the expense of the message or purely for the sake of putting butts in seats. Nor should we encourage a mentality that craves constant stimulation.

There's a few simple things that could reduce the boredom association problem while avoiding compromise. To start, it would probably be helpful to eschew the word "school" from the church setting. That is the last word that kids want to hear on their downtime. For adults, I think we should seek meatier topics to delve into. Apologetics, theology, and church history are largely MIA from sermons, which is a huge disservice and does nothing to cultivate intellectualism within modern Christendom. I have my issues with Roman Catholicism, but at least they don't forget where they come from. Christianity is a big deal, so let's stop treating it like a self-help course and start regarding it as the cultural revolution that it is.

-L. Travis Hoffman

8/20/2017     

But that's not real Christianity.

Note: For the purposes of this entry, I am referring to people professing to adhere to orthodox views of Christianity. There are valid doctrinal concerns to express over what is real Christianity (Trinitarianism, Nicene Creed, etc.), but I won't be covering those in this post. They will likely be explored in a future entry.


An ideology is put into practice and after a period of time, it fails.

Its supporters immediately trot out their defence: "But that's not real ____!"

Fill in the blank. It could be a lot of things. Libertarianism, anarchism, Marxism, Secular Humanism. The list could go on forever. Most of us will agree that quite often it's a hollow defence. As the saying goes, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it probably is.

So when a prominent figure or an organization taking on the banner of Christianity does something reprehensible and Christians resort to this defence, I'm with many in saying that it feels like an extraordinary cop-out. However, I do believe that Christianity has something unique in its beliefs that set it apart from other ideologies or belief systems.

Take Socialism, for example. The driving idea is that people own the means of production and that wealth and resources are shared equally for the benefit of all. Like many ideologies, it's utopian. Yet it fails constantly, oftentimes transforming into full-on Communism and leading to the death and oppression of the people living under it. Why? Because a utopia can only exist if all people are good all the time. Which means that human nature has to go. People can no longer be greedy. Everyone must be willing to work in some capacity. Not only that, but they have to be willing to share the fruits of their labor with people that may not have put in the same amount of work or that they don't even like. Oh, and everyone in the government must be trustworthy.

Christianity does not work this way. It's an overall optimistic belief set, but it's one that assumes the worst in people even when it commands the best from them. Its ultimate success isn't dictated by the deeds of mankind but by the will of God. Sometimes that will is executed directly and other times it's through His children. But make no mistake, God is the one that's making the plan work. That's where Christianity differs from ideologies. Socialism's effectiveness is predicated on the idea that people are going to willingly be selfless and altruistic. While those are both virtues worth extolling, it's not a realistic expectation to hold. Look no further than your news feed and you'll see that it's a pipe dream. There's little indication that mankind is becoming intrinsically better. For every Civil Rights Act that's passed there's a Roe v. Wade to follow it.

If someone that professes to be a Christian does something awful and not in keeping with the Church's values, that doesn't discredit the Religion because Christianity has never assumed that people are inherently good to begin with. Nor does it claim that its stability is contingent on the good works of people. If it did, we'd all be doing backstrokes in the lake of fire. We do good things because we know, consciously or not, that it is pleasing to God and that it's consistent with His nature. We desire to live in His nature (again, consciously or not), but there will always be that constant tug of war with the sinful nature that we were born into and our fates will ultimately be tied to which one we desire more. It's only through Christ living in us that we will make decisions that gravitate toward Him.

Of course that doesn't mean we shouldn't call out sins when we see them or that we should live complacent lives.  Which brings us back to the argument: "But that's not real Christianity!" Is that true? Well... yes and no. It's true that the sinful acts of a person aren't a representation of the Christian understanding of morality. But it's also false to maintain the perception that any Christian is capable of complete and absolute fidelity to that moral code or that our Religion teaches this as even being possible. The history of our faith is full of screw-ups and moral failures. We've got adulterers (David), hedonists (Solomon), liars (Jacob), traitors (Peter), extortionists (Matthew), persecutors (Paul), and murderers (Moses) among other things. Without their relationship with God, they would never have been able to move past their sins. Without their remorse, they would never have progressed in their faith. That so much of Christendom has been furthered by deeply flawed people is telling. It illustrates that Christianity relies on God and the strength of His word and not on the perfection of the people who believe.

-L. Travis Hoffman

8/19/2017

Fear, Anger, and the Two Greatest Commandments

Oh, where to begin... I have a feeling that this will be another entry that jumps all over the place, so my apologies in advance to those who bother reading this.

It's been two days since the outbreak of violence in Charlottesville and at least a week since rumblings emerged of North Korea planning to use nukes against the US. I'm not going to delve into the politics of it all but in a nutshell, I'd say the overall feeling among the populace is one of fear and anger and justifiably so.

I've had to impose on myself a strict cut-off point with exposure to media coverage. It's no challenge for me to become crippled with worry and that does nothing to give me clear or productive thinking. Which is, I think, a big contribution to the problems we're facing right now as a collective American culture. Fear is paralyzing but anger can be mobilizing. Anger that is unchecked and constantly fueled will easily become hatred and animosity. If a person is constantly being exposed to things high in negativity, whether that be toward themselves or toward perceived outsiders, it becomes toxic to our minds, bodies, and souls. These alt-right and antifa fools are being fed an hourly diet of news and ideological material that tells them to be enraged all the time and when they see what their "enemy" is absorbing they get even more enraged and feel justified in their antagonism. The world can be a cruel place and there's no shortage of injustice in it, but if we aren't willing to put aside our anger and use our words like civilized human beings we aren't long for this world.

Christ's two greatest commandments are to love the Lord with your entire being and to love your neighbor as you love yourself. It should come as no surprise that our negligence in doing the first commandment has led to problems with doing the second. A big part of that lies in what our perspective is. If we're too caught up in the direness of our circumstances, if we're unwilling to take joy in the little things in life that God's given us, we are going to become bitter and impose a hellish existence on ourselves. As someone that has suffered from anxiety and depression to varying degrees for the majority of his life, I will say that this is quite often easier said than done. But there are ways to get through it. Therapy is a huge help. Recognizing what you have in your life and expressing gratitude for it is another. Giving back to those that are less fortunate within your community, whether that be with your time or with resources. Surrounding yourself with productive and positive people. All of these are beneficial.

"Be the change you want in the world." It's a huge cliche that verges on platitude but that has more to do with us being too complacent about following through than anything else. It's much easier to spout campaign phrases about hope and change and making America great again when we don't have to be the ones facilitating it. Goodness knows, I'm no saint about it either. But if we don't want more incidents like in Charlottesville than we're going to need to take the initiative. Obeying our Lord's commandments is the best place to start.

-L. Travis Hoffman

8/14/2017

Good, Bad, or Just Ugly?

Logan isn't very charitable.

Logan says some pretty horrible things and mistreats people. 

Logan is a liar.

Logan just cares about himself.

Logan is a hypocrite.

Logan is arrogant.


If one were to describe me strictly with these six statements to a stranger, the stranger would likely conclude that I'm a pretty awful person. They may well even believe me to be an evil person. But they're also making a judgement based on only a few scraps of details. All of this is true. I'm not as charitable as my betters. I've said some truly hurtful things to people and I've even mistreated them. I've lied. I've been selfish. I've been a hypocrite. And I most definitely have an ego problem.

I'm grateful to the Lord that I don't have to work my way into heaven because there's absolutely no way that my good deeds would outweigh my bad ones. But yet we inevitably find ourselves comparing our goodness to other people on a curve.

Sure, I've stolen some CDs. At least I've never robbed a bank.

Yeah, I've cheated on my tests. But that's nothing compared to those guys who sell the answers!

I've said some harsh words to my wife, but it's not like I'm beating her.


There's always someone worse than ourselves that we can use to claim moral superiority over. Quite often we don't bother to consider that there's always someone better than us, too.

Obviously, to some extent we have to have gradation in order to properly punish or reward people. It's unavoidable. And Christians should be willing and able to judge one another accordingly for the purposes of spiritual growth.  Yet we Christians also need to recognize that not all fruit from the spirit presents itself in the same way, time, or place.

Take David, for example. Here is a man who abused his power as king for selfish reasons. He had an affair with a soldier's wife and when he couldn't cover it up, he sent the husband into the front lines to be killed. Were we to apply this scenario to a modern day politician, most people (including Christians) would conclude that this guy is a certified d-bag.

David is regarded as one of the most righteous figures in the Bible even though he did something truly awful. But David had remorse and he asked for forgiveness and he suffered from his sins when he lost the child he sired. After his mourning, he went on with a stronger love, virtue, and dedication to God.

I think of all the leaders just in American history alone that have contributed great things, moral things and yet also have done appalling and immoral things.

Examples:

Thomas Jefferson
Good things: Declaration of Independence, advocate for religious freedoms
Bad things: Owned slaves, had numerous children with a slave (quite possibly through rape)

Franklin D. Roosevelt
Good things: New Deal, joining conflict against Axis powers
Bad things: Japanese internment camps

John F. Kennedy
Good things: Peace Corps., support of Civil Rights Movement
Bad things: Possibly mob ties, concealed frequent judgment-impairing drug use for injury, serial womanizer


There's plenty more, but I think you get the point. How do you weigh the independence of a country against the dehumanization and degradation of people with darker skin? How do you compare the wrongful imprisonment of Japanese people with the opposition to a genocidal regime?

The answer is that you can't. We let history weigh in on who the heroes are and it's often that they are the winners. But we can't keep doing that. The men and women that do good things and acknowledge and show remorse for the bad things that they've done, they should be the ones that are called heroes. Humility is a virtue that is short in supply these days and even shorter when it comes to leaders.

Sometimes I drive myself bonkers just thinking about crappy things that I've done or the fact that I haven't done enough to benefit others or even glorify God. I'm needing to stop and consider that maybe my spiritual fruit is not presenting itself at the time, place, or way that I'm expecting of myself. I'm not suggesting complacency, only quieting of the mind. Which is quite possibly the most demanding task the Lord can ask of me.

The first thing, the easiest thing (relatively speaking), is to address any offenses made against others. You don't know how humbling an apology can be until it's difficult or uncomfortable. But I'd also say that those are the most liberating and the most rewarding (especially when forgiveness is granted).

This whole entry has kind of gone all over the map. I don't have an answer.  Not one that isn't paradoxical, anyway. Ugh. My head hurts.

-L. Travis Hoffman

8/9/2017